The Fuck Your Couch with Chili

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Hello everyone. Welcome back to Stuckey Lunch. It’s been a while, I know. Whatever. I was on break. Deal with it.

Anyway, say hello to the Fuck Your Couch. I couldn’t think of anything else to call this meat stuffed meatwich. It’s got a lot of heartburn and a lot of personality. My first bite literally sent pleasure vibrations throughout my entire body. I got the shivers and felt my ear drums pop with pure joy.

Let’s break this bitch down. We have a wedge slathered in garlic butter. On top of that is some piping hot beef chili. Next up is Pepperjack and cheddar cheese. Next comes your run of the mill steak. Having the cheeses sandwiched between the chili and the steak causes them to instantly melt and ooze in a deliciously gooey manner. Moving on…pepperoni. Yep. Because pepperoni is awesome. Then to make it healthy I added some raw diced green peppers and onions. It also adds some crunch to this beast from Dimension X.

All in all, it is a 10/10. I ate the whole thing with a bag of cheese doodles and a can of Monster to help me digest.

Anyway, it’s good to be back.

Fuck Your Couch, and good day sir.

Buffalo Greatness With A Side Of Rican Nomatron

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Right now outside it’s hotter than being stuck in between two sumo wrestlers in a sauna smothered in ghost chili sauce. This means I need to get some food that will cool me down a bit. Perhaps some homemade Puerto Rican baked ziti? Perhaps a classic buffalo amazing from Uncle’s? Screw that…I’ll take both!

So I got both. A Big Thank you to Denise’s mom for hooking a white kid up with some awesome baked ziti. Oh, and a high five to Uncle’s for making a perfect Buffalo chicken cutlet sandwich with blue cheese, cheddar cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato. Oh so good.

Everybody wins today!

10/10

The Epic Disaster of Amazing Awesome

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This is easily one of the most epic sandwiches ever ordered and consumed. First of all, I ate the whole freaking wedge. Secondly, it weighed in at 23 lbs and 16,043 calories. Do I feel well right now?…No, I feel amazing!

So what the hell is it? Everything I needed to make Monday feel less like Monday and more like happy hour. It is a Garlic Wedge stuffed with steak and cheese and green peppers and onions and chili and pepperoni. Seriously meat over load. Oh, of course I had a side of marinara sauce to dunk this bad boy in. I’m definitely a little tired right now. Whatever, me gusta mucho.

10/10

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Chili Boom Boom

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Chili chili chili. I freaking love chili, except turkey chili…that shit is nasty. Quick tasty lunch.

From Uncle’s, obviously, we are looking at a Steak and Cheese on a Portuguese roll. Of course chili is added to keep it honest, along with Mr. Green Pepper and his mistress Onion. So banging.

Whatever fools
10/10

A Weekend of Excessive Calorie Intake

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This past weekend I took a little trip to Worcester, MA for a little two night Phish concert stint with my brother. I may not have a lot of nice things to say about Worcester, but I will say that the food is amazing and completely unhealthy…this is good.

Ever heard of a Greyhound? Either had I, so I snagged one up for breakfast right after I downed my syrup hot dog. That’s right. A syrup hot dog.

So…why syrup? The answer…why not? It just works. Try it. You may enjoy it. I’m thinking of investing in syrup dog stands in NYC. The breakfast dog. Oh yeah!

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Yep. Nomy Nomy Syrup Dog.

Anyway…the Greyhound. It is simple. You get yourself an omelette filled with sausage, American cheese, and cheddar cheese. Next, you slam that whole freaking omelette between two of the thickest slabs of Texas French toast you can find. Finally, douse that son of a gun in enough syrup to drown a cat. So amazing.

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And that’s it covered in sugar awesomeness.

Syrup Dog: 8/10 – well, what can I say. For some reason ketchup, mustard, hot dog, and syrup works. Give it a go and you’ll never go back.
The Greyhound: 11/10 – I’m not one for breakfast food, but this was so bangin’ it’s not even funny.
Massachusetts: 2/10 – Hey…it’s better than Alabama.

This is the menu at one of the diners I stopped at.

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The Salsa Mayo Monster

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Well hello you amazingly messy and incredibly awesome sandwich. You are required to get in my stomach immediately. Now move it before I eat your entire family.

Adding up the calories in this monster comes to a nice round low number. So, Stuckey…what the hell is that sloppy meat pie?

1/3 burger, cheddar cheese, chili, jalapeños, a fried egg, well done bacon, and a nice topping of salsa and mayonnaise mixed together. Oh the humanity!

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Another view of this piece of art

Place: Uncle’s
The Burger: 5000/10 – this is the best burger I have ever gotten from Uncle’s. I don’t care if u like it or not. It’s amazing. I’m going to get another one right now, might have to get my stomach pumped…eh, so it goes.

Mama’s Italian Friday (epic outdoor edition)

Question: What sucks about Friday being a gorgeous day?
Answer: I have to work.
Solution: Grab your jambox, create a makeshift table outside of work, put on some shades and enjoy the tunes and food. Yep. That’s right son!

It’s Friday…so it’s time for that same old classic, Easily the best way to end the work week. In walks Darien’s Mama Carmela’s epic Italian combo with roasted red peppers and extra oil and vinegar.

Oh, what’s that? Are those Mama’s very own honey mustard chicken nuggets? Why, yes they are. And if you haven’t had one yet, either you have siliav or you are just a fool.

Haven’t been to Mama’s yet?
Get The Hell Out Of My Office!

Everything gets a 1
15/10

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Time For The Meatstick

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Yay Meatstick!

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Yay Pesto Cream Lobster Ravioli!

In a perfect world, the Dragonfly would not exist. Not that I don’t like the Dragonfly, I just had a serious man crush on the pub it was before, The Playwright.

It was nice going here. I was walking down the street in Stamford craving some eats. As I am passing Dragonfly, I hear some live jazz music. Sold. I get a nice spot outside, order a drink, and enjoy the tunes.

But this blog isn’t about jazz, so on to the food.

First I had their Kobe Meatsticks. Oh yea. Seriously,

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OH YEAAAA!

These things were amazing. Each bite melted in my mouth and left a perfect spicy residue on my tongue. Soo meaty!

Next let’s talk about this Pesto Creamy Nomalicious Lobster Ravioli. Oh Yea!

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OH YEAAAA!

Seriously, I’ve had lobster ravioli before and I have to say, I’m never quite that impressed. However, Dragonfly knows their lobster. Sure, only 3 ravioli are actually hidden under all that green cream, but the taste is so nice.

Place: Dragonfly
Where: 488 Summer Street, Stamford, CT
Kobe Meatstick: 10/10 – Seriously,

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Lobster Raviloli: 10/10 – definitely the best lobster rav I’ve ever had. Nom Nom.

My waitress was spectacular and on point. Water glass always filled, drink always filled. Food super Nomalicious. Nice live jazz music. Totally going back.